Soireé Française

We had a very French evening yesterday.

Our friends James and Monique invited us to see a local theatrical performance.   Some of James’s photos were in it so we were happy to go.

We should have known it would be a little, um, different when we read the description: “Emergence.  It is the story of the urgent need to share, the story of resistance and hope in the face of fear.  We surround the authors, and indeed others, to hear how to think with words in the face of evil.”

Toto, I don’t think we’re in Kansas anymore.

The performance space was an artist’s studio, very rough and maybe 20’ by 20’.  Here and there were some of James’s photos.  The studio was filled with the artist’s ceramics and they were…hmm, what is the word?...weird. 

At one end of the room was a dinner table covered with a white tablecloth.  The three performers sat frozen in place around it, Last Supper style, with one wearing a kind of Burger King crown.

There was a small area for the audience to sit in front of the table, plus more chairs around it.  We all filed in while loud music played on a repeating loop.  The actors didn’t move.

Finally the lights dimmed, the music stopped, and the actors began reading passages from the papers in front of them.  Most were in florid, poetic language that we had a hard time following.  We could understand the words, but not always the sense.  And to be fair, part of our trouble understanding was because sometimes the actors spoke with food in their mouths.  But of course.

One of the actresses was terrific.  She spoke incredibly clearly and with great emotion.  For French learners like us, she was a pleasure to listen to.  Except for the food in the mouth part.

After a while the actors stopped, cranked up some new music and started dancing wildly.  Ok, then!  Luckily this wasn’t an audience participation show.

Then they went back to reading passages. They drank wine and passed around glasses to the audience, then later took back the partly-finished glasses and emptied them onto the tablecloth.  Then they poured out the rest of the wine from the bottles onto the tablecloth.  And it was good wine, too! I understand artistic license but really, this was quite shocking to me.

For the grand finale, one actor ate part of the script while another burned it page by page.  The third stroked a bleached cattle skull with a carrot sticking through it (one of the ceramics) while munching contemplatively on a carrot herself.

Toto, we are seriously not on the same planet as Kansas.

Then the show was over and, of course, out came the food and drink.  Everyone discussed the show plus other topics – the weak economy, existentialism, what an idiot French president Francois Hollande is.  You know, the usual stuff.

In other words, just a normal evening in France.

KVS

Lights, camera...

Burn, baby, burn

Tightest and Whitest

It was 48 degrees and windy this morning, with a mistral in full swing.  So we did what any reasonable people would do, we went to sit outside in the cold for a few hours.

This is because we were going to Arles for the big Easter course Camarguaise, where Val’s beloved young men in their tight white pants chase bulls around in the old Roman arena.  It’s the biggest course of the springtime in France.

We had tickets for the same event last spring but it got rained out.  Val had been looking forward to it all year and was depressed for weeks after the cancellation.  She tried to get me to wear some of those tight pants but I pointed out that I haven’t worn disco pants since 1979 and the world is a better place as a result.

We had terrific seats, in the second row and right on top of the action.  The only problem is that our location was so great that the cameraman from TV Sud was parked in front of us.  Luckily, we were able to see around him most of the time.

To our right were the announcers for TV Sud, who periodically provided commentary.  We couldn’t hear it because of the crowd noise but I imagine it went something like this.

“Well, Jacques, what do you think of our third bull, Vaccarese?”

“Well, Guillaume, he’s definitely got to work on his footwork.  You see how his left hoof always drags when he pivots to attack the razeteur?  That’s the kind of thing that will get him sent down to the minors.  And in this sport, any bull that gets sent down usually doesn’t come back, if you know what I mean.”

“Excellent point, Jacques.  And now a word from our sponsor.”

The bulls and the razeteurs didn’t quite seem on top of their games.  There were a few times when they all stood around and looked at each other and nothing happened.  This caused the crowd to start whistling, which is the equivalent of booing in the US. 

Maybe that’s because it was early in the season, so kind of like spring training.  Just like hitters need to work on their timing and pitchers need to sharpen their curveballs, maybe bulls to need practice aiming their horns at the razeteurs’ butts.

We plan to go to another course next month in St.-Remy and I expect that by then everyone will have rounded into mid-season form.

Action photos are below.

KVS

First the pregame festivities

And the action begins!

Watch that left hoof, Vaccarese

A little too much standing around back there, guys

Checklist

We’ve been here a week so it’s time to go through our “getting started” checklist to see how we are doing.

- Drive from Switzerland to Provence, stopping at my favorite wine shop in Burgundy to pick up a few tasty bottles?  Check.

- Make the rounds of all the local markets to stock up the house?  Check.

- Begin our weekly French language classes and learn that I am still le cancre (dunce)?  Check.

- Have our first real French ham sandwiches on delicious baguettes with rich French butter?  (This may be Val’s favorite part of coming to France).  Check.

- Watch the French election returns and laugh at how ridiculous French politics are, and then stop laughing when we remember American politics?  Check.

- Take our first bike ride up up up to the Val d’Enfer (Valley of Hell), all the while huffing and puffing so loudly that the locals wonder if a steam train is chugging through their neighborhood?  Check.

- Get together with Sara and Christian so we can taste the latest vintages?  Check.  Ok, maybe better check that one twice.

- Start reading books in French?  Check.  I should note that Val’s is a deeply philosophical tome written by an esteemed member of the Académie française, while mine comes with crayons.

- Go to our first course Camarguaise so Val can watch her beloved young men in their tight white pants?  No.  But that’s tomorrow.

Excellent progress!

KVS

Views from Val

Here are a few pictures from our early days in Provence.
vvs

 Biking along the Alpilles...

 We passed a man plowing his field with a horse!  

View from top of ride - across to Les Baux

Our friend fires up the grill

Election Season

One of the most fun things about being in France is following the elections.  You never know what will happen.

Well, actually you do.  The Socialist party of president Francois Hollande will get its butt kicked.  That’s been the trend ever since he was elected.  Every year there is some big national election and he gets to play the piñata.

This time it was the election for France’s 101 departements.  A departement is somewhere in between a state and a county and each departement elects a council of about 40 members. 

No one quite knows what they do, something about tourism and road maintenance.  Maybe rodent control, too.  But in a highly centralized government like France, you can be sure they don’t have any real power.  So why do they exist? With over 4,000 well-paid positions, I think it might just be an attempt to fight France’s chronic unemployment.

Anyway, the elections took place Sunday and the Socialists lost about half of their seats.  Ho hum, let’s take another swing at the piñata.  The conservative UMP party of former president Sarkozy was the big winner, so now Sarko is strutting around, acting like he’s going to be the next president.  The only problem is that this reminds everyone of why they hate Sarko.  Plus, he’s under about a dozen different investigations for corruption so it’s hard to see him being reelected president.

This leaves the Front National, the extreme right-wing party founded by Jean-Marie Le Pen (famous anti-Semite and general crazy guy) and now run by his daughter Marine.  Since Marine took over a few years ago and kicked out the skinheads and other unsavory types, the FN has improved its electoral results dramatically.   In last year’s European elections they came in first, with nearly 30% of the vote.

This time the FN got about 25% but only won a few seats, due to the way France’s two-round election system works.  There is also the question of whether they have hit a natural ceiling of support, something I’ll write about in another post.

The fun part is what happens next.  Every departement has just elected 40 councilors and now they have to vote for the president of their council.  For most departements, one of the parties has a majority of the councilors and will win.  But what happens if no one has a majority?

First, the leading parties try to form a coalition with the smaller parties to gain a majority.   But that’s hard to do because it might mean joining forces with the FN and no one wants to do that.

So the council holds a vote and if no party has a majority, they vote again.  If there is still no majority then the presidency goes to the party with the most councilors.  But what if it is still tied?

Well, then it goes to the party with the oldest councilor!  Age before beauty!  I’ve never heard of this before. 

Think of what would happen if other political systems used this.  Back in the 80’s and 90’s the Republicans would never have lost a tie vote in the Senate because Strom Thurmond was so old.  (Actually, I’m not sure if he was still alive then but they did a good job of propping him up.)  Ronald Reagan would have had no fear of an Electoral College tie.  And the Canaanites would have won every tie vote in the ancient world, what with Methuselah on their team.

The election results for departement president are today and I can’t wait.

KVS